I wish I was a girl

This fantasy is the lingerie shopping trip fantasy. I was going to write about something else that is more original and just use this fantasy as the intro in to it but as usual my writing brain gets carried away with itself and I ended up just embellishing the intro in to an entire fantasy in it's own right. The sex part will have to wait for another day.

Anyway here goes....

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So I go down to the shopping precinct.

I eventually pluck up the courage to enter the lingerie store about five minutes before it finally closes. I don't have much money but I desperately need to replace my stockings. The clerk in the store is predictably the woman of my dreams. Short, slim, cute and absolutely drop dead gorgeous. The kind of woman I know I haven't got a chance in hell of scoring with so I don't even entertain the possibility, locking the thought away at the back of my mind so that it doesn't bug me incessantly.

She sees me enter but does not approach, rather she looks back down at whatever it was she was doing and carries on. I am thankful for this as women as pretty as her her are deeply intimidating to me.

At first I'm just browsing. Looking at all the pretty girly things and imagining myself in them. I stop at the most gorgeous and feminine blue and pink corset. It is covered in little ribbons and flowers and lacy patterns and things. It is easily the most girly thing in the shop. It has matching panties and a suspender belt. It's far too expensive but still I reach up to touch it so I can take in the sensuous feelings and imagine myself wearing it. Before my hand reaches the material I am suddenly stopped by a high melodic voice coming from right next to me.

"Nice isn't it?" Asks the voice. The shop assistant has sneaked up beside me and is now stood right next to me, looking at the lingerie I had been transfixed by. Now I am aware of her I can suddenly smell her intoxicating perfume. She is stood right inside my personal space, far too close for comfort. I am frozen with fear and paranoia save to draw my hand back quickly as if the corset had a do not touch sign upon it. I felt like a kid who had just been caught trying to steel sweets from a candy shop. I cannot see myself but I must've turned bright red at that moment.

"Yes, it's lovely." I weakly manage to answer as I turn to look at her. She twitches her nose up and squeezes her eyes provocatively at me in that gorgeous way that women do. She stares straight in to my eyes and looks at me lustfully, almost as if she fancies me to pieces. I know that cannot be right, surely she is just trying to make a sale. No girl that attractive is every interested in someone as un-confident as me.

"Would you like to try it on?" She asks brazenly without taking her gaze off me for a second or batting an eyelid. If I wasn't red before I certainly was bright crimson now. I can feel movement in my pants as my rock hard cock twitches forcefully in an attempt to break free of my jeans.

"I...I..erm..." Is about all I can muster. My face feels on fire.

Her face changes to a wide and obvious smirk that makes me melt inside. My emotions have betrayed me and I am totally busted. She is a very warm and happy person with a bright beaming smile. Half talking and half giggling she continues.

"We can always tell. People like you like to stay outside the shop and walk past a few times before coming in. Then you always come in five minutes before closing and you always stop right there next to that corset." she explains, her eyes moving towards the beautiful garment as she reaches up and touches it seductively. Feeling the fabric that I myself have so far only imagined touching.

She turns to me and smiles warmly before continuing.

"It's OK" she reassures. "There is only me here." Her big warm eyes and appealing face does the exact opposite of put me to ease. Had this been an ordinary chance encounter anywhere else I would have still been nervous as hell talking to someone like her. She went on,

"If you like, I can close the shop early and you can have the place to yourself." She suggests as if that would clinch it.

Weak at the knees and with a very heavy heart I already know what my answer is going to be before it comes out of my mouth. Most definitely no, thank you, but no. The most tantalizing and seductive offer I had ever dreamed of getting in my entire life. Yet for some reason there is absolutely no way I could ever possibly go through with something like that, even if I could afford to actually buy it.

There were no fitting rooms in the shop. No one had ever seen me dressed up before, certainly not a complete stranger and certainly not someone as beautiful as her. Closed or not the shop was still an unfamiliar and public place. I was already feeling so humiliated by this situation that I felt like I wanted to run away or feint. My mind had already retreated in on itself and I was thinking about how I would certainly be masturbating while running this conversation over in my mind as soon as I got home.

At such a state of arousal, it wouldn't be fair on the shop assistant to put her in the situation she was suggesting. She surely wouldn't realize how turned on I was. For a crossdresser, playing "dress up" with a girl is like having sex. She might as well have asked me if she could massage my cock. It wouldn't be fair to be like that around her without her knowing.

I open my mouth to politely decline when she suddenly turned and reached for the corset, taking it down off the hanger. She thrust it in to my hands before I could say anything.

"Here you go. hold that" she instructed without looking at me, before whisking herself away in the direction of the shutters at the front of the store.

Still speechless and now standing with the satiny corset in my hand I stood watching her pert bum wiggle provocatively as she headed off to close the shop.

"There is an office behind the counter. There is a mirror in there so you can see what it looks like" she shouted over her shoulder as she reached the front of the store. I looked behind the counter and saw the office door she had referred to.

"...I.....erm..............no....?..." I said meekly under my breath, far too quietly for her to hear anyway.

I was trapped. She had expertly taken control of this situation and left me feeling like I had no choice in the matter. A stronger more alpha male type would have been able to stand up to her easily (probably back at the beginning when she first suggested trying it on) but I was totally helpless under her spell. Matters weren't helped by the fact that I did actually want to try it on. The thought of having the silky material pressed tightly against my skin made my cock twitch excitedly. She was already rolling the shutters down loudly

She was making the effort to close the store just for me I thought. It almost seemed rude now to say no to her. I was also a customer after all. Next week I might come back and actually buy this outfit. At that point I knew I had completely surrendered myself to the her. She already knew about my kink. My dignity and my male pride lay shattered in pieces all over the shop floor. Week at the knees and butterflies in the pit of my stomach I looked back and started making my way to the office behind the counter.

I heard the shutters clink shut behind me as I opened the door and went through.

"There is a light switch on the wall" she suddenly called. Her sweet voice startling me and making me literally jump in my skin. I found the switch and looked around the room. It was quite a large office with a desk and computer at one side and a large full length mirror and dressing table and bench on the other. There was lingerie and boxes of stock scattered about all over the place. Clearly the office doubled up as a store and dressing room. I closed the door behind me and looked around again.

My gaze was drawn this time to a very large dildo on the office desk that somehow I hadn't noticed the first time I looked. Stood prominently upright and looking just like a glorious over-sized cock, whoever had left it there had made no attempts to hide it. All of a sudden I thought about the shop assistant playing with it, innocently fondling it and unconsciously bringing it to her lips while she did her accounts or something on the computer.

I quickly tried to dismiss the thoughts. This was arousing enough for me without me making it worse by fantasizing about the shop assistant. My thoughts turned back to where I was and I stood next to the mirror and started to undress. I don't know if it was the cold against my skin or the situation I was in but I had started to tremble uncontrollably. After a couple of minutes I had got down to my briefs and I could see the sticky mess I was making in them already. Thankful that she was outside and I was in here, I was just about to hold the corset up against my skin when the door suddenly open behind me.

I spun around and in she walked. Nonchalantly closing the door behind her and looking straight at me.

"Everything OK?" She asked beaming a wide salespersons smile. I quickly moved my hands down to cover the mess in my briefs. Holding the corset there to hide it from view. I was feeling totally embarrassed, naked and exposed. No everything was most certainly not OK I thought. What the hell did she think she was doing just barging in like that and startling me?

".................." I sheepishly exclaimed, nicely summarizing the extent of my control over this particular situation.

"You forgot your panties!" She said holding them up. My mind focused on the word panties, did she really say, I forgot MY panties? She was looking straight at me now and again smiling a big heart felt smile! She was clearly loving all this.

"I also found you these stockings" she said as she moved towards me to show me. Once again I inhaled her sweet girly perfume as she moved right inside my personal space again almost touching me as she stood right next to my semi naked body the corset I was holding acting as the only barrier between the two of us. I had always felt uncomfortable around people. I prefer to keep a good three feet of distance between myself and anyone else at any given time. Especially women. She was looking down at the packet of white stockings in her hand almost as if reading the label. Her proximity was making me blush again as I desperately tried to control my shaking.

"See, they have little pink bows at the top and they are made by the same company so they match the corset...." she continued innocently as if almost talking to herself and learning the information for the first time. She acted as though she was oblivious to the whirlwind of emotion and feelings that were currently spinning around inside my head. I was totally transfixed by her. Staring straight at her boobs and pretty face below me. Had she looked up it would have been embarrassing for me to have been caught staring at her like that but I couldn't help it.

Without warning she ripped off the packaging and started getting the stockings out, dangling one in front of me and smiling. It was a little unexpected and uncomfortable for me. How was she going to react when she found out I didn't even have any money? She had opened a fresh pair of stockings for me and I wasn't even going to buy them.

At that point I decided I had to come clean and tell her the situation. I looked up and in to her eyes at the same moment she looked up in to mine. I felt myself trembling uncontrollably again. Just as I opened my mouth to speak she adopted a very cute, very sympathetic look.

"Awwwwww, my little baby! Your actually shaking!" She cooed lovingly. Her voice making me feel like a little five year old child. She put her hand on my arm to steady me but it only served to make things worse. She was so soft and warm. Her voice was so gentle and her touch was so electric. I always get nervous around women and I almost never let anyone get close enough to actually touch me. My heart had melted again and I knew I would marry this woman and die for her this instant if she ever thought to ask. She was literally perfect. For some reason the loving way she had just spoken to me and placed her hand on my arm had started to make tears start welling up inside my eyes.

"I'm sorry, I knew this would be a little embarrassing for you but I didn't realize just how embarrassed you would be." She explained. She placed her other hand on my hips and smiled again sympathetically.

"I'll tell you what." She started, her voice picking up and sounding more practical and energized. I'll help you try on anything you can see in this room," She suggested, referring I'm sure to the various articles of feminine attire I was surrounded by. My thoughts and my gaze however immediately and uncontrollably flashed towards the large dildo on the desk and then back at her, the two things in this room I wanted to try the most. My cock twitched again. She must have noticed my eyes because without glancing away her sympathetic smile had begun to smirk again.

"....and if it makes you feel more comfortable," She continued trying to hide her smirk, "I'll pretend you are just an ordinary girlfriend and we are just having a bit of a girly slumber party. How does that sound? Would that help?"

For some reason that thought was actually quite reassuring. She might actually just treat me like a regular girl and if I thought of myself that way too then I might not feel quite so humiliated. As I looked in to her eyes and she looked back at me it felt like she could completely read my thoughts. I stopped shaking and her normal beaming smile came back to her face.

"Now turn around, " She ordered, as she used her hand on my hips to physically spin me about face

"....and hold the corset up to your chest. You're going to need me to help you tie it tightly at the back."

<-------------------SNIP---------------------->

See folks this is what always happens when I try and write my fantasies. I've been writing for over an hour and we haven't even got anywhere near the start of the fantasy yet. I'm still messing about writing my intro. You'll notice I still haven't even tried on the pissing corset yet! From here the story can literally go anywhere though so I'll leave it as is for now.

All your comments are most welcome and gratefully received. This is a work in progress so anything you suggest might actually find its way in.

OK, writing blogs is hard. I was hoping to interchange between writing fiction and writing true stories. Unfortunately as always, the fantasy world stuff just never gets finished. I made a good start but I'll have to come back to it and post it later.

Meanwhile back in what could be the real world...

I woke up at precisely 1:59:58 AM.

I sat almost instantly upright. I didn't feel tired or groggy at all but uncharacteristically alert. Without thinking I reached out and grabbed the alarm clock, disabling the alarm before it got a chance to give me the 2:00AM wake up call I had riskily asked it for. I remember thinking how strange it was.

I swung my stocking clad legs over the side of the bed, rubbing them against each other and feeling up and down them as I remembered the vivid dream I had just experienced. It had clearly been heavily influenced by my activity earlier that evening in the park.

I had dreamt I was on the football team, playing football in that very same park with several of the boys from my neighborhood and school. They were all from years above me and much taller and bigger than I was. Mostly friends of my brothers. I was wearing my blue football socks along with the rest of the blue football strip. I knew it had to be a dream because I never played football usually. All that jostling and running around never appealed to me. In the dream however I was dancing and spinning like earlier in the park while they all played around me and smiled at me. They even passed the ball to me and let me kick it back to them.

I remember feeling the blue football socks high up my thighs. (Probably because I was wearing my stockings in bed). I also remember that as I twirled round and skipped the satiny football strip felt like a beautiful flowing blue dress. It felt incredibly sexy to wear. The shorts rode up and exposed my thighs above the stocking tops. The silky blue shirt flew out and up exposing my belly button.

Then somehow the dream shifted location and I was in the large white tiled shower room with them. The other boys were now all laughing and play fighting and totally comfortable being naked around each other.  I was standing in the middle of all of them wearing some beautiful black stockings with white bows holding them up.

None of the boys could see me. I didn't mind that so much because I was deeply embarrassed about what I was wearing. At the same time though I felt overlooked and alone. I wanted all of the boys to see me. I knew if they did they would laugh at me and point. I wouldn't have minded them laughing at me because that's what they were all doing right now anyway. They just weren't looking and I wanted them to be. I felt I would be accepted as part of the group for making them laugh even though I looked different.



Going over this dream in my mind I couldn't quite remember how it started or finished. It seemed to finish right there in the shower room. I thought I could remember the shower room suddenly being empty and me looking down at a single red rose. Then the rose became my alarm clock but I couldn't clearly remember ever seeing the clock. I'd just woken up and reached for it.

The fact that I still remember that dream now shows how significant it was to me. I felt very alone in my room after I recalled the empty shower scene. I also felt very exhilarated and in need of moving about and getting up. Normally I am the most sleepy headed person you will ever meet but this evening I felt like I was on fire.

I got up and put on a pair of blue jeans over the stockings. I put on shoes and socks then a white shirt then my black coat. and zipped it up. I know that if I got caught going downstairs my parents would want to know why I was fully dressed but that would certainly be easier to explain away than my stockings. Nevertheless I creapt as quetly as I could past my parents bedroom and down the stairs.

At the back door to our house I stopped and took off all the clothes I had just put on to sneak past my parents bedroom. For some reason I was hiding myself more from people in my house  than the rest of the world. I toyed with the idea of keeping my shoes on but they were all manly and heavy and didn't go well at all with my outfit. I new from earlier I prefered to feel the stones on my feet anyway. I just didn't want to walk on any broken glass.

I stood for a minute at the open back door taking in the moment in just my stockings and coat. At that time of the night it felt like I had the whole world to myself. Nothing was making a sound except for the slight breeze rustling in the trees. I breathed in heavily and tasted the air. The air was cold but I felt hot. Very hot indeed. I knew I just wanted to get outside and take my coat off.

I half ran and half jumped down the stairs enjoying the feeling of the breeze around semi stiff cock and basking in the feeling you get from a hardening cock that is waving about between your legs freely. As I moved up the drive I never quite ran and I never quite tip toed. It was kind of something in between. I felt like an animal, a cat or fox, moving through the shadows quickly from point here to point there.

I glanced up to road towards the streetlamps to see if anyone was coming. Again my first choice after being sure that there wasn't anyone there was to go the other way, down the gennel and towards the police station. This time however I was completely exposing myself and committing what was a criminal offense at the time. In truth the gennel was darker and more shadowy than the rest of the street so it appealed more than the direction of the light.

All the way down I was telling myself I was now checking this way for police. I had an image in my mind the whole time of a pair of bobbies on a beat walking up the other way towards me. I new that they could come round the corner at any moment and that I would have to turn tail and leg it fast. For about half the way I felt I had enough head start to bolt back up the path and in to my house, out of sight. I'd be seen but without being caught. As I got nearer the corner however I knew this would be increasingly unlikely to come off as the police would be close enough to give chase and see where I had gone.

My excitement and exhilaration grew rapidly as I passed what I felt was a point of no return. Beyond this point things were totally beyond my control. If the wrong thing happened now there could be all sorts of shouting and commotion just outside my house followed by what would probably be a loud conversation with the police, my parents would almost certainly become involved and I would be humiliated and ridiculed by my family forever.

By the time I reached the corner my little cock had become rock solid. I crouched down in the most feminine way I could and peered out around the corner. The pub car park was empty. Nobody was coming. I could see the edge of the police station and a couple of lit windows. There were probably at least 30 people in that building. All awake, all still working. I reached down around the back of my legs and pulled my cock backwards and started playing with it.

I moved a few more feet around the corner so that I was completely out in the open on the other side and I knelt there on the ground using the asphalt to keep my stiffy in place. I took off my coat and rolled it up next me. For the first time in my life I was finally showing myself to the world how I wanted to be seen. Just me in my stockings and nothing else effeminately kneeling. I had shrugged my coat of my shoulders and down my arms in the park, but I had never taken it completely off before.

I stretched out my arms and tensed my body up. My cock felt nice and it was good to have something else holding it other than my hand so I could reach out and up with both arms. I was alive with sexual energy and I still had no way to release it. I tried moving back and forth a little to rub my cock against the ground but it was far too rough and painful. Instead I found it more satisfying to move up and down. That was still painful but something I could moderate and control better.

I kept looking up to see if I could see anyone in the windows of the police station. I knew they had cameras on the building and on the nearby streetlights that could've easily been pointed at me. The windows on the third floor were blacked out. I had no idea if they could even see out of them but it would seem a bit pointless to me if they couldn't. To this day I don't know if anyone was looking. I thought about an attractive older policewoman who glanced up at me and saw me. I imagined her not telling anyone but instead just sitting and watching. My first live audience. Their quite easily could have been such a person. For all I know there could have been an entire police station full.



I was brought back to reality with a bump when I noticed a car engine on the main road.  ahead. Even this lat it was still a main road and you could hear cars driving past at night quite often. I shrunk back around the corner and picked up my coat to cover myself. I also wanted to have it in case I decided to bolt.

I stood there petrified for a second feeling the intense butterflies as I waited for and then watched the car slowly arrive at the lights, I noticed how easily I had heard the car coming and long it had taken to arrive when I was feeling as in tune with my surroundings as this. I waited and looked on in fascination with diminishing inhibition and growing power at what is now for me an ethereally distinct situation.

In the middle of the night a loud white estate car was sat pointlessly at a red light in front of an empty junction. The two people in it engrossed in conversation with each other and totally oblivious to everything around them including a small boy who happened to staring straight at them on the other side of the junction wearing nothing but stockings.

I could hear any car for miles around. I knew at the time I was probably the greatest show going on in the entire country. I knew these two people were missing it all because they were not expecting to see any of it. I new I had power over them because I had information that they didn't. Not much power I know but at least enough to write a blog post about the events they were unwitting parties to years later.

I tucked myself back between my legs and slowly started standing with my legs together in my most feminine pose as I waited for the car to set off again. Fully expecting to be seen I closed my eyes. As the lights changed it noisily roared in to life. I stayed in pose, My heart stopped, knowing the occupants of the car could clearly see me should they chose to look at all in my direction. The thrill I was getting now was the same as the ones exposing myself out of my window or coming home from the park. It wasn't an quite an orgasm like the first but I was getting much closer here than in the park.

Tingling with excitement from this latest buzz and keeping my coat rolled up under my arm I walked back up the gennel. Again I fantasized about someone coming the other way. This time would be even worse since this time I was only wearing my stockings and nothing else. I would also have to dash away from home and towards the totally unknown. At least running this way I would have a slim to marginal chance of escaping without my parents finding out.

Keeping my head up high, my back straight and doing my best girly walk I moved confidently and gracefully back to my house, As I approached I didn't slow down. I kept walking past my house and up the road.

I didn't really have any kind of plan. First I went up the steps and in to the back garden. The garden was surrounded by trees and overlooked by a few houses but it still seemed a little too close to home and hidden for what I wanted. I stood there for a while and rubbed myself through my track suit bottoms savoring the moment before going back down the steps, back up the drive and on to the street. 

It was still broad daylight so I had to be discreet. I turned right towards the closed end of the street. At the bottom in the corner next to our neighbors was a shaded path that ran off the estate and on to the main road.  For about 10 meters the path is surrounded by fencing and high trees. Then the path turned left and The next ten meters had some wasteland with more trees to the left and to the right a small wall beyond which lay a pub car park and a pub.

I ran down the "gennel" as it was called, towards the halfway point. I was really using the fencing and the shade of the trees as cover but this turned out to be a mistake. I stopped where the path turned.

Straight ahead was the a very busy main road and on the other side a large modern police station with CCTV all over it. I was now completely visible to anyone in the pub who happened to be looking out of the window. I could also be seen by the police station although the trees to my left obscured the view to most of it. There were still a good four or five windows that had a clear view of this section of path.

Most of all I could be seen by the cars as they came around the corner. Not completely at first, but when they came closer they could see over the wall. These were what I planned on exposing myself too. I went over the idea in my mind. I I could drop my bottoms and stand there with my stockings and little girly cock showing to the drivers as they went past but that wasn't enough. I wanted to take my bottoms off entirely. I stood there but I didn't do anything just yet. The wind on my chest was exhilarating enough. I felt to take off my bottoms would take too long stood out in the open like this. I also knew it would take a lot longer to put them back on than if I had just pulled them down. For some reason this was appealing. It made it more likely I would get caught which was kind of what I wanted. I took a few paces backwards so I was hidden by the corner. 

I put my hands inside the elasticated waste band of my tracksuit pants and I was about to pull them down to expose my bare bottom. I took a last minute cursory glance behind me and to my horror, a middle aged man and his dog had started walking down the path towards me.

My heart skipped a beat and a panic set it. Blocked left and right by fencing I could only run forwards back round the corner towards the police station and the pub. I ran forwards a few steps then jumped left in to the wasteland, trying hard not to rip the bottom of my tights in the bracken. I hid behind some bushes. I was still almost fully clothed so it wasn't too bad at this point if I got seen but I would look pretty silly with no shoes on should this turn out to be a neighbor. I was also about to drop my pants and whoever was coming must've seen that.

I sat and waited feeling the same thrill as I got from climbing on my windowsill all those times. I was unbelievably scared considering how little I was actually doing wrong. With my coat zipped back up there was nothing I could get in trouble for but I feared I would be taken home for not wearing shoes. If my parents saw me they may have also noticed that I had no shirt on and that my socks looked a little different to usual. That's what I was most affraid off. That my family would discover me wearing tights. I held my breath as I heard the footsteps of the man approaching.

The man walked past with his dog and it was indeed my neighbor. He didn't look in my direction thankfully and I could breath a sigh of releif as he walked on. I realized at this point how easily I could become trapped here. I quickly skipped back up the gennel to my house.

About 2 minutes later I tried again. This time I ran the other way, staying on the estate. At the top of the road was a t-junction and on the right was an entrance to the park that ran behind the houses on the opposite side of the street to me. I ran up the road and in to the park without being seen. In the park was a large football field surrounded by trees. At the far side was the same main road that I had visited earlier and to the left a long row of garages with a small concrete ledge/wall that ran along it. The park ran off in to the distance in that direction with the garages ending about 15 or so yards away and a fence replacing them. On my right was a stream and then the back gardens of all the houses on this side of our street. 

I walked towards the wall and made sure no-one was watching. If anyone came from the front I would see them well before they saw what I was doing. If someone walked on to the park the way I had I would have only a few seconds to respond before they saw me and that's only if I heard them coming in to the park. The path was grassy and footsteps would be muffled easily. I had an escape route where the garages became fence. I knew I could get out of the park their and run around the front of the garages back to my street.

Confident enough I again slipped my fingers in to the waistband of my tracksuit and this time pulled them down to expose my smooth hairless bottom and willy. I sat on the ledge so that the gravely concrete was in contact with my bare skin. It was cold and uncomfortable but oh so refreshing and sensual. I could feel the stones on the back of my legs and on my little puckered hole.

I checked again to make sure no-one was coming before I lifted my legs and removed the tracksuit completely. tossing them to one side I stood up on the concrete ledge. I was now wearing only long black stockings tied at the top with white elastic bows and a short black coat unzipped. The coat barely even reached my waistline so my whole midrift was exposed to the elements. My cock was rock solid. It felt wonderful to stand there and feel the breeze circling around almost my entire body. My stocking clad legs were still warm and the difference in temprature on my upper thighs helped remind me I was wearing them. Not that I needed any reminding. 

I ran my hands down my chest over my tummy and on to my cock as I trust my hips back and forth and squeezed my legs together. I still didn't know a thing about masturbation. I knew it felt good to touch my cock and tense it. Kind of squeezing it from the inside. I also knew it felt good to grab it in my fist and squeeze it. I grabbed it in my hand and squeezed hard. It was almost like the harder I squeezed the more it hurt but also the nicer it felt. I squeezed it as hard as I could without it being too painful and then a little further so that it hurt a lot. It felt wonderful to be hurting myself on my privates like that. For a brief second I imagined the school bully, a boy called Russel grabbing me down there. I don't know why I thought of him first but then I thought of Jane, the pretty girl in my school class who's grandparents lived on my street

Still holding my cock I jumped down off the ledge and ran to check no-one was coming around the corner. They weren't. I felt ecstatic. I ran around and danced in the open air. as I twirled my jacket rose up and outward revealing even more of my skinny little body. I was getting such a rush. I wanted to go everywhere. 

Caught up in the sheer excitement of the moment I decided to take a massive risk. I left my tracksuit bottoms on the wall, zipped up my coat and cautiously walked back out of the park the way I had come in. 

Wearing girls stockings on my legs and with my willy and bottom out for all to see I must have looked an absolute picture. If the wrong type of man had come around the corner at just that moment it could have been very hard for him to resist and this story could have ended very badly for me.

I slowly walked back to the top of my road. I stood up straight and strutted around a little like a stripper, rubbing my cock and pulling it back between my legs so I looked like a little girl. Still rock solid and bent as far back as I could stand the stress on the top of my hard on felt huge. As I pulled it tight in my grip and the pleasure and pain only increased as it tried to break free of my hand and swing forwards. Eventually I let it and the sudden swoop of air as it rushed past my legs felt divine. 

Though exhilarating this experience was increasingly frustrating for me. I new I had to do something but I didn't know what it was. Extraordinary feelings were swimming round my body and I was caught in a pre-pubescent whirlwind of emotion. Hurting myself and in particular my little cock was the only thing that seemed to relieve the tension it but at the same time just created more frustration as soon as I let go. 

From the top of my road I could see my house about fifty yards away. My tracksuit bottoms were 15 meters in the other direction. Somehow being away from them and forced to face whatever fate through at me was extremely arousing. I made the decision to walk home like this. 

I started off down my street. If any of the naigbours happened to look outside as I walked past I would probably be seen. If anyone walked up the gennel and up our street I would be done for. There would be no way I could hide myself save for running back up the street or jumping in to a neighbors garden. Not all the gardens were conducive to this idea. Some people had large French windows, others bushes and hedges that would stop me entirely and force me to dash past the house entirely and hide in the next garden, a delay that would undoubtedly result in me being seen. 

Undeterred and in fact encouraged by the riskiness of the situation I continued down my street, unzipping my coat to expose more of myself to the elements. Luckily (and somewhat disappointingly) I made it back to my house without incident. By the time I had reached the backdoor I had my plan. That night I would leave the house after it had gotten dark and after everyone had gone to bed. That way I would be much freer to go where I wanted. 

Hello readers. Thank you for tuning in once again to anther edition of SissyInPanties

I posted the following to a friend on fetlife earlier. It just shows how far I have come from the shy boy who wanted to expose himself out of the window as a child. Let this be a lesson to anyone who says 17 years of internet porn doesn't have a corrupting influence.......

My friend asked "what kind of humiliation would you like?"

<---------snip---------->

Well.....

I would certainly want to give pleasure to you with my mouth and face.

That would be pretty humiliating in itself for me but to make it even more arousing you could make me beg for it and demand that I call you Daddy and really take my time over it.

Rather than just cum on me, I would prefer to get you right to the point of orgasm without making you fully blow your load. Then I would sit there and just look up at you with my big needy eyes. At this point you already know what I'm wanting...slowly you start to rub your cock up, down and around my face, trying to cover me with as much pre-cum as possible without busting your nut. If you feel yourself sliding back away from orgasm I could use my mouth to bring you back again. If you feel yourself get too close you have to stop and hold still.

I like it when you get close like that. I like seeing your face on the brink of ecstasy knowing that I'm the one doing that to you. It gives me butterflies. I feel honored that you would want to shoot your load so close to my face or that you you would be willing to let me put your thing in my mouth. Sometimes I get quite a dribble of pre-cum on me. It goes in my mouth and on my skin and you can then use it as lube while you continue to slide your cock around my face. We could keep this up for hours.

At some point I would probably get so turned on by being humiliated that I would want to start touching myself. I don't know if that would be OK so I would have to ask you for permission of course first.

We both know I like to have degrading things done to me. As you see me getting more and more turned on and closer to orgasm you know cumming on my face isn't really what I want. You torment me and force me to admit to you all my pervy desires. I know you won't do what I want unless I ask you outright to do it but it's so embarrassing for me the words barely come out, hardly more that a whisper.

"I.....I....I want you to jizz up my nose." I finally say, bright red with shame.

Obviously I don't say it loud enough so you make me repeat it several times, adding extra words along the way. Eventually it comes out as

"Daddy...Sir...Please will you jizz up my nose" You make me stare in to your eyes while I say it, grinning back at me and enjoying the look of sheer submission on my face.

Eventually you decide you want to cum. You take it upon yourself to grab my head and start rubbing your cock up and down my face much harder to bring yourself off. Like some leery old pervert or a dog who is missing its masters leg. I can tell what you are about to do and it arouses me so much I lose all my remaining inhibition.

"Oh Thank you Daddy, I love you so much.....Thank you for rubbing your cock all over me" I repeatedly say as you finally tip yourself over the edge using my face.

You position your pee hole right next to one of my nostrils and begin shooting jet after jet of hot sticky cum up in to my nose, determined to get all of it up there. I breathe in deeply as you do, hoping it will please you to see how much I want your cum inside my face. I don't even need to touch myself anymore at this point. Having been on the verge of my own orgasm for some time anyway the eroticism of the moment has started it off. I can feel your warm juice shooting through the top part of my nose and I can smell it and feel it sliding to the back of my throat. It is so completely overwhelming that I am pushed in to my own delightful orgasmic bliss.

After we both have our breath back and with me just a sticky, gooey, quivering mess on the floor you drag me up by the arms and in to the bed where I have to sleep with my face tucked in to your cock and your cum drying up my nose. All through the night whenever you get aroused you can rub your hard on against my face and deposit more pre-cum on me. If I start to get aroused I know I can kiss you gently on your cock or suck on your shiny bell end while I play with myself.

That kind of humiliation.

xxx